the hospital stay

Much of the hospital stay is a big blur! I wish I would've written something down earlier but you know I have twins. Eric was a huge help because I couldn't do much but lay around and nurse. My parents arrived the day after the birth and they were a great comfort and a lot of help as well.

It was really hard trying to take care of two babies, learning how to nurse and recovering from both types of delivery. On top of all that I had this horrible rash all over my legs and feet and they were still extremely swollen. I also lost a lot of blood during the c-section and had to have a blood transfusion. It was a crazy time for me. Not only was I exhausted physically but emotionally as well. I really wanted to have the birth I had practiced, envisioned and prepared for and it didn't quite go as I had hoped. But the boys arrived safe and were healthy and that was the number one goal so of course I was happy. But I was still coping with the fact that I had to have a c-section, which was the number one thing I didn't want.

Another interesting thing I remember thinking was that I pushed one baby out and next thing I knew I was going under and when I woke up I had two babies. It was really weird to experience one of their births but not the other. I also felt guilty that I didn't get to see Nathan be birthed or hold him right away but I did with Thomas.

 

Something else that I felt (that I wasn't expecting) was an inability to enjoy it all like I so desperately wanted to. It was hard to enjoy it and soak up the joy of these new babies because my body was trying to recover from so many things and I was just trying to stay afloat. I wanted time to slow down a little and my recovery to speed up so I could cherish my little boys how I had always imagined I would. Really the first 6 months were so hard and I was just trying to get through the days that I had a hard time enjoying most of it. I kept wishing the newborn stage would end and therefore felt like I didn't enjoy their littleness and the excitement of having a newborn. I blame it on the twin factor. Or maybe my expectations were too high. I imagined (with one baby) this beautiful, peaceful, happy time snuggling with a little baby all day. And that was not my reality with the twins. Trying to meet both their needs usually at the exact same time was (and sometimes still is) very difficult. But I would never EVER change having twins. They are so fun and it's been such a privilege to be mom to these amazing boys.

 

The boys did great in the hospital and only lost a little weight. Thomas nursed like a champion from the start but Nathan took a day or two to get the hang of it. I was blessed when it came to nursing, I never had any problems and it never really hurt that bad. We did have some ups and downs the first couple months but from what I've heard from others experiences, I think the boys were great and I had it pretty easy.

The hospital and nurses were great but I still experienced the typical hospital things like never really being able to sleep and not having good food. One of my regrets is that I didn't (or that I didn't make someone) take more pictures with a regular camera. We have a lot from our iphones which I am grateful for but the quality is lacking.

 

We ended up spending 4 days in the hospital and all went home together.

Except I forgot shoes so I walked out of the hospital with bare feet.

 

 



the birth of Thomas and Nathan

Disclaimer: The story and pictures are graphic.

I woke up at 1:15am on Friday October 21, 2011 feeling thirsty and wide awake. After getting a drink of water, I started walking back to bed and all the sudden it felt like I peed my pants. There was liquid running down my legs and I couldn't stop it. It was weird and I suspected it was my water leaking (it wasn't very much) but I didn't want to believe that I was going into labor. I had a major event at work that day and I wanted/needed to be there. A couple minutes later I started feeling some cramps and tightening in my stomach that was coming and going every couple minutes. I put a towel on the chair, sat down at the computer and googled contractions (even though I had spent the past 9 months reading and learning about them. I still wanted to google it and read about it again). I decided to casually time what I was feeling. About 10 minutes later I got up to get more water and  I leaked more fluid. After about 30 minutes of timing the waves I decided it was the real thing. My water was leaking and the pressure waves were 3 minutes apart. I labored for another hour as the waves gradually intensified. I decided that at 3am I would wake up E and see what he thought. Right after 3am, E came walking in the office. He had woken up on his own. I told him what was going on and asked him to time what I was feeling. He timed for about 15 minutes. My pressure waves were 2 minutes apart and lasting a minute. That's when we decided to call our doula Kimberly.

I continued to labor in the office chair with my Hypnobabies CD on in the background. It was really intense but extremely calm as well. E talked me through every wave. Kimberly got to our house around 4:30am and checked the babies heart rates, the babies were doing good. She started setting up the birthing pool so I could labor in there for a while. As it was filling with water I was anxious to get in and try different positions. When I got in, it felt really good! E climbed in with me to help me work through each wave (E was so awesome). Our plan was to stay at home as long as possible. After about an hour and a half of laboring in the pool I started to feel a lot of pressure. None of the positions I got into eased it. I eventually ended up back in the office chair, it felt the best. After telling Kimberly 4 or 5 times that I felt the urge to push, she suggested we head to the hospital. I was ready to go (although I was still very worried about getting there and finding out I hadn't progressed very far). E grabbed some last minute things and we got in the car. Kimberly followed us there in her own car.

During the car ride I told E that I couldn't do it anymore, it was too hard. He told me this was my ironman and I could do it. We arrived at the hospital minutes later around 7:30am. I had a pressure wave in the parking lot and leaned on E for support. When we walked into the ER, they put me in a wheel chair and wheeled me straight to a L&D room. I kept saying over and over, I have to push.

Note: This is where everything changed. My birth story was exactly how I wanted it up until this point. Everything was perfect. If I could have stayed at home, I truly believe I could have had the birth I wanted and brought these boys into the world how I envisioned and practiced for. But that is not what happened. The rest of the story is what it is and it's a part of me. I love it because it is how my boys were born. But I don't love it for very many other reasons. I'm learning to accept what happened and be at peace with it.

They got me on the bed (flat on my back) and told me I was fully dilated and effaced and could push. The midwife said that I could deliver baby A (Thomas) right then, he was that close to coming out. But as soon as I laid down my pressure waves eased up and I didn't feel as strong of an urge to push. My body was telling me to get into a different position (like I was able to be in at home). I wanted to be up and squatting or on a birth ball because I felt the most pressure in these positions. But because I was on my back, baby A (Thomas) retreated back into my womb. Because he retreated, the midwife decided we had time to wheel my bed into the OR (where we were supposed to be from the beginning).

Note: When delivering twins in the hospital you are required to deliver in the operating room. The only reason they didn't take me in there immediately was because baby A was so close to coming out.

Once in the OR the nurses poked and prodded me for over an hour to try and get an IV in. The whole time I was trying to push baby A (Thomas) out I had both arms being mauled by needles. It was extremely distracting. Eventually the anesthesiologist was called and he got one in (apparently I was dehydrated which made it harder to find a vein for the IV). I had indicated that I didn't want an IV in our birth plan. But in the chaos of arriving at the hospital ready to push, the birth plan kind of got thrown to the side.

I pushed and pushed and pushed. It was hard work and it was a lot harder to use my Hypnobabies techniques in the hospital with so many people around distracting me. E was right by my side encouraging me on every push. Kimberly (our doula) was awesome as well and she was able to take a bunch of pictures. For me, the pushing was much more difficult than the labor. I remember thinking, "I didn't realize this part would be so hard" and "I have to do this twice". It was overwhelming to think about pushing another baby out but I just kept telling myself to focus on getting this first baby out.

The whole time I was pushing baby A (Thomas) they were monitoring baby B (Nathan). After pushing for about 45 minutes, baby B (Nathan) started showing signs of stress. At that point, the midwife suggested we do an episiotomy to speed things up. I was opposed to having an episiotomy and asked if she would give me another try before she did one. She agreed and I pushed with everything I had and that's when I pushed Thomas' head out and with another push his body. Thomas Winn Kimble was born at 9:32am. The sensation of pushing him out was so crazy and intense. But it was so awesome to have him out. The cord was wrapped around Thomas' neck twice but he was perfect and healthy and cried right away. She gave him to me and I got to hold him on my chest for 2 seconds before the nurse whisked him away. I was so bummed I couldn't hold him longer. He was so little and I just wanted to take it all in and enjoy him.

The focus was now on baby B (Nathan). He was head down (which is what you want) but he would not come down. He was hanging out at the top of my uterus and his bag of water was still intact. At this point baby B's (Nathan's) heart rate was dropping into the 80's and not recovering. The midwife talked about breaking his bag of water but then decided against it because he was so high. It was also decided that we didn't have much time because baby B (Nathan) wasn't doing very good. She said we could give him 5 more minutes to make some progress before we had to do a c-section.

As soon as the 5 minutes were up and baby B (Nathan) was still stressed and hadn't made any progress, I was transferred to the OR table. Because I didn't have an epidural, they put me completely under/out for the c-section. I was not happy. It was so crazy in there with people running around all over the place. The last thing I remember was asking where E was while fighting the nurses as they tried to strap my arms down. The last thing I heard was that E could not stay with me and then I was out. Nathan Brewer Kimble was born at 9:48am.

The first thing I remember is E. A very happy and smiling E holding Thomas up to my face. I also happened to be bawling.

That's where I'll stop for now. There's more. There's a lot more.

no birth pictures of nathan makes it even

i've been going through all the birth pictures in preparation for posting about the twins birth.

i discovered that because no one was in the room when nathan was born, i don't have any pictures of him being born. just some pictures after.

i decided this makes it even again. the boys are loved equally because nathan doesn't have any birth pictures and thomas doesn't have any first bath pictures. perfect.

this makes me feel like a better mom for some reason... weird.

the time i deleted thomas' first bath pictures

The first month of Thomas and Nathan's lives I was so out of it. I thought I was with it and I was slightly but looking back, it's a big big blur. I'm pretty sure the only way I survived was by having my mom there for 2 weeks, then E's parents for 10 days and then my awesome sis in law Jo for another 5 days. They did everything for me except feed the babies.

What a crazy journey I've been on the past 3 months. I can't wait to blog it all for my records and for your enjoyment. It was (and still is) such an intense time of life. Going through so many changes and learning how to care for not one but two babies is such an experience. One that deserves a lot of blogging.

Sometimes I look at these boys and can't believe I carried them and birthed them. It's so amazing.

Yesterday we were going through pictures on the camera and deleting ones we'd already put on the computer. Well I got going and before I knew it, was deleting pictures we hadn't put on the computer yet. Luckily I only deleted 3 before I realized it. Unluckily all 3 were of Thomas' first bath. Luckily I didn't delete Nathan's. Unluckily Thomas might think we don't like him because there are no pictures of his first bath. They were really cute too, he was sooo tiny with a lot of dark hair... see.

twins... isn't it about time

It's time.
It's time I get back to this.
It's time to blog.
It's time to start tracking our lives again.
But I don't have time.
It doesn't exist anymore.
Time has disappeared.
There are moments when I think I've found it.
And then by the time I recognize it, it's gone.

I blame it on the twins.

They stole all my time.
It's their favorite thing these days.
They eat it up.
They also like to snuggle with it.
They poop on it.
And then there's bath time.
And tummy time.
Don't forget nap time (one of my favorite times).
And then take all that time and times it by two... it's a whole lot of time.

Time wins "most popular" at our house.

back to my blogging roots

eric shot me with my final progesterone shot last monday. that's cause for celebration. i was getting so sick of taking those shots every morning. but after my 9 week ultrasound i got the go ahead to finish off what i had left of the meds and then i'd be done. it is so great to be done with that part.

i am so excited for these babies. i love that it's babies and not just a baby.

i have SO many thoughts lately and so much to research and so much to do. it's consuming. and i think that's why i haven't been blogging all that much. but i should just be blogging about it all, right.

i'm still trying to find an OB that I just click with. one that is on board for a natural non c-section delivery of twins. i've interviewed a couple and i'm currently being cared for by one that i like. but is it too much to ask that i LOVE my OB and that they're open to what i want as long as the babies are doing good.

i am 11 weeks today! my next ultrasound is in a week and I am so excited to see them again.

the thing i eat the most right now... toasted bagels with cream cheese.
the thing i hate the most right now... sugar

i bought two little sleepers over the weekend (first purchase for the little ones) and we can't stop staring at them and cuddling them. i had to put them away in the closet or else we get too excited and don't get much done besides talking about them.

thursday thoughts

there's nothing and then there's everything. do you know what i mean? i have nothing to blog about but there's definitely not nothing going on in this life of ours.

and lately i feel like all my posts are the same. nothing new or exciting to write. my feelings are the same. our infertility is the same. and that's what's on my mind so i post about it. but it's all just the same.

same is a funny word.

let me tell you something that is great. sharing your birthday with a niece or nephew {or in my case both}. this weekend we'll be celebrating my birthday in UT with E's family. my nephew's 8th birthday is the day after mine and i am excited to celebrate/share it with him. my niece is also turning one this weekend {we share the same birthday} and i wish she could celebrate in UT with us too.

so we're off to UT for about a week. it's hard to imagine being in cold weather. it has been so nice in AZ. i forget that in other locations is it snowy and cold.

it will be nice to see some old friends in UT that we haven't seen in a while. too bad it's not summer so we could play some home run derby.

normally i love a break from work. but in complete honesty... i am going to miss it. the women i work with are like family. they have become some of my greatest friends. i'm sure i am going to miss out on some funny stories!

turms out that giving yourself multiple daily shots in your stomach isnt so bad. who would've known. but i am kind of nervous about some of the other shots {read...bigger needles} that are coming up next week.

there is oposition in all things and it has confirmed to me that we are moving in the right direction. which means i can have peace with whatever happens at the end of this process.

everywhere you look

i rode my bike to and from work on wednesday. it was so great. i had to do it at least once before this IVF stuff gets intense. hopefully i can do it again next week.

while i was waiting in the doctor's office early this morning, full house was on the tv. haven't seen that show in forever but i {surprisingly} thought it was funny and was quite entertained.

work is so good. it is such a tender mercy that i am at this particular job with these particular people. it is incredible.

we got new curtains for the slider in our family room. i love them. and i'm really diggin this mirror.

i want to make roman shades for our large kitchen window over the sink. but i am so indecisive on the fabric. it is so hard to choose.

i got six viles of blood drawn this afternoon. there was no full house on in this office.

e is a webelos leader and the pinewood derby is tonight. i have never been to a pinewood derby, so this will be a first for me.

my birthday {and the beginning of my late twenties} is in 23 days. i don't find my birthdays nearly as thrilling as i used to. but i'm still excited. hoping for a pregnancy as my present {one expensive birthday present}.

and it begins

i go back and forth constantly, trying to decide if and what i want to share on this blog regarding our IVF. part of me wants to share everything because selfishly i want all your thoughts and prayers and how can i get that if your not aware of whats going on. but another part of me wants to hide everything and not tell a single soul and then 3 months down the line, shout with joy, it worked. but that's not realistic.

we're not in a typical situation. and i'm not going to have the typical "announce the pregnancy once you hit the 3 month mark". i also wont have the typical "my periods late, pee on a stick and it says pregnant" moment {but trust me if IVF does work there will be some peeing on sticks happening just so i can see that my pee can do it}. but these situations are just expectations that i've always had of things that would happen. just like the thought of getting pregnant naturally and instantaneously is an expectation. so i'm learning to let go of my expectations. but it is hard and sometimes makes me bitter {i'm trying to let go of my bitterness too}.

i don't know what i'll end up sharing or what i'll feel like once we actually start the process {i start medication on monday}. but will you think of me and pray for us. cause it'd be really great if we could have a baby.

e is biking to tucson this weekend {crazy, i know} and then i'll meet him down there for the long weekend. we'll probably do some hiking and camping {we're also bringing the dog}. it will be a fun adventure.

i'm not even sure

where to begin... and i'm not really sure when this aversion to blogging crept in. recently, every time the thought pops up of posting, i cast it off quickly. i want to share my thoughts and whats going on, but i haven't felt like spending the time typing, editing my thoughts and composing a post. i'm hoping part of it is this dang cold i've had for over a week that has left me extremely lazy. maybe when it finally departs, i will be able to retrieve some of my motivation.

i also think part of it is that i have so much on my mind that it's overwhelming to think about processing those thoughts into a post. with all of our IVF talk, gathering info, appointments, decisions and preparation, there hasn't been much room for anything else. i feel like it takes ALL my energy, focus and brain power {rightly so because it's such a big deal} to sort through, figure out and make decisions about this process. and on top of that i am in a different spot emotionally than i normally am in.{but i'm hoping it's just a side affect of the birth control i'm taking right now, that i haven't taken in over 4 years}.

i am trying to have hope and i am excited for the potential but the doubt still creeps in. for the past four new years, as each new year begins i always think... this is the year. and as each year closes with it not being "the" year, i struggle. same thing happens with birthdays as they come and go. but hope is an interesting thing... it continues to surface even in the darkest days.

12 thoughts before christmas

oh hello, here i am again.

we're busy and there's lots going on but just not anything that exciting to post on the blog. E has told me a couple times that i need to post something, but i've got nothing.

i would like to post some pictures of the house but i haven't taken any pictures of it yet. plus the kitchen hasn't got repainted and maybe it wont for a while. there are other rooms worth photographing but they're just not put together yet, like i want them to be.

i love having the rusty dog around. he is so funny. my favorite is how excited he gets when i get home from work and his little tail is wagging so fast that it makes his whole body move.

we didn't decorate for christmas and we didn't get a tree. so sad.

i'm really diggin this this this and this

we are going to CA for christmas. i am very excited to see my entire family. haven't seen them all together in a long time.

my favorite part about christmas with my fam... the homemade gifts. it is so much fun and i am very much looking forward to it.

i spoke in church last week. glad that's over with.

i love my job and my co workers, they are the best. like a second family, they are.

from one of my favorite books: "Mostly tonight I feel sort of lost and alone, like now I am up on a windy hill and looking toward a new direction where the wind never blew before. I am afraid to leave all that I know, nothing familiar will be nearby to keep me going. I will have to stand on the hill alone."

i got new contacts a couple weeks ago and now i can see. i also got a prescription for some glasses. i am deciding between these or these. thoughts?

the hard facts

we've made some progress on the baby front. we're pretty sure we figured out the reason behind E's low sperm count. the most likely reason is that it was a side affect from one of the hernia surgeries he had in 2000 or 2006.

it's nice to have a reason. it provides some sort of closure. an anwser to the unknown. now i don't have to constantly wonder how or why. i can move onto accepting it.

the hard part about having an answer is it eliminates a lot of hope. there's no more hope of the count improving. we've hoped and hoped for an improved count over the past couple years as we've tried various medications and treatments. but there's pretty much no way we can coneive naturally. and now it's time to move on... discard that hope and cling to our new hope of IVF.

i'm still coming to terms with the idea that E and I will never concieve a baby naturally. that's a hard fact to accept. the idea that E's sperm count will never increase and our fertility situation will never change. this is who we are and what our situation is... i need to accept it and learn to love it.

here's a positive... we never have to worry about any form of birth control.

another positive... E can start riding hard again, taking long hot showers and get in a hot tub if he feels like it.

i've always wanted a large family... like six or seven kids. and now i'm finally processing the thoughts that it probably wont be a possibility {unless someone wants to give us 40k-60k and a guarantee that IVF will work every single time}. which is ok, right. i mean, life isn't always about what we want. it's about love and growth and humility.

now i'm just hoping for three. three is a good number.

so we're moving forward with IVF in 2011. i'm very cautious with my feelings and emotions at this point. i'm not looking forward to all the shots or the spending of a lot of money. i am nervous and scared and i'm so afraid to hope for a positive outcome.

there are days when i'm ok with it all and there are definitely days when i am not ok with anything. why is it so hard to let go of what i want, what i envision, my desires, my will.

so i try to think of the positive... a baby. nothing else matters in the long run. or so i keep telling myself.

a whole bunch

it was so nice to have five days off. i loved it and i spent most of it doing nothing which means i didn't complete nearly as much on my to do list as i should have.

but we did finish painting the master bathroom. we also hung the mirror and light.

we went to costco and target on black friday. but didn't buy anything... except for a costco dog.

we rented the new donkey kong and golden eye for the wii and tried them out. they were relatively enjoyable but not worth spending 50 bucks on each game to buy them.

i cooked my first turkey, along with some mashed potatoes/gravy, corn and rolls with honey butter. we ate our turkey dinner sitting on the couch and watching a movie.

we went for an ice cream run the evening of thanksgiving day. i kept telling E nothing was open but we found a CVS open and bought a carton of vanilla ice cream.

it was kind of lonely but a little alone time is always good.

we were thrilled with the utes win.

i am loving my new calling... YW secretary. great people and great girls. reminds me of redlands and the great leaders and girls i served with there.

i took rusty on a walk or run almost every single day. he loved it and i loved it.

and one last picture of the dog. here he is after the stitches were removed.

back in action

I miss blogging but it's just so crazy right now. There are million other things I should be doing besides blogging but I decided I had to get some of these thoughts posted.

Work has been really busy but it is sooo good. I love it. I feel extremely blessed.

I've lost all my confidence in picking paint colors. Will someone come do it and make sure we like the end result too.

There's a costco a couple miles from our house, we got a membership over the weekend but with only the two of us, we can't decide if it will be worth it or not. So far the $1.50 hot dog & drink is weighing heavily on the pro side.

We bought trees! We got 2 acacia trees for the backyard, a mesquite and a pygmy palm for the front. E put in winter seed and we have nice green grass coming up in front and back yards. We are waiting to plant an orange tree because it's better to plant in February.

We also have rose bushes in the front yard. They need some love but I am excited for the pretty roses they will produce.

I can't neglect the Vitamix, I've been meaning to blog about it. E got a vitamix for his birthday in October. It's AMAZING. We love it and use it everyday. We are eating way more greens than we ever have before.

The Gilbert Temple ground breaking ceremony is this weekend. The new temple in Gilbert is like 1 mile from our house... it is so awesome.

We made 2 batches of no bake cookies this weekend. oh man they are so good.

My parents are coming to visit this weekend. My goal was to have the house all put together before they arrive Thursday night. But I don't think it's gonna happen (Sorry Mom & Dad). It'll be mostly done but I think it might be impossible to have it completely put together in the next couple days.

Oh and my parents are bringing Rusty with them... and we are gonna take a stab at keeping him! I am really excited... even though it means change and more work. I'm happy to have my friend with me again.

thursday thoughts

the jasper house finally closed for good yesterday... it's so great. the flip was a success, although we both kind of miss that house, it was pretty perfect after we renovated it.

and... our offer was accepted on another house in gilbert {for us}. it's still in the beginning stages but hopefully everything will go through and close in about 2 weeks. this is it.

but you know what's missing? lots and lots of babies. i guess you can't have everything you want. i feel like i'm failing this test called infertility. i thought i was doing good and staying positive but now i'm just angry and upset. it's really the most frustrating thing i've ever experienced. hopefully this weekend will bring some peace to my tired and troubled soul.

thursday thoughts

It's Thursday already. It's been another busy week... which is so much better than the alternative.

On Monday night E and I went to REI and tried on Vibram Five Fingers. E was already in love and then I fell in love with them. But we left empty handed, they are a tad expensive {but someone has a birthday coming up in a few weeks}. Then Wednesday morning I ran 1.5 miles barefoot. I felt so free and it felt really good. Except now my feet are slightly sore because I was on asphalt for most of the time. I think they just need to adjust to the change. You should seriously consider running barefoot, it is amazingly different than with shoes. I enjoyed my run so much more than I normally do.

Last week we submitted two offers on houses in Gilbert {for us} but one of them we liked a lot more than the other. And then we found out yesterday that we didn't get it {the one we loved... the one i had already decorated in my head... the one that felt right}. Still haven't heard back from the other one we submitted an offer on. But we're going back to the drawing board and looking at everything again. Hopefully something will suck me in like the other one did.

{late} thursday thoughts

this has been a tiring week. but i love being busy.

work is still great. lots of laughing and hard work. always a good combination.

i've eaten way too much candy this week. why do i love candy so much. it is so bad.

i read hunger games in 2 days. it's a good YA book. i am still in the middle of born to run. i like it but it's a little slower going for me. i think i am going to read pope joan next.

i've started running again {have to work off all that candy}. it's a little cooler {mid 80's} in the morning now, which is nice.

our jasper house was supposed to close this week, but it didn't. so hopefully next week.

we found a couple houses that we like but there's one that i'm in love with. hopefully we can get it.

our friends got a puppy {portuguese water dog} and in december when they go out of the country for 5 weeks, we're gonna watch the dog. she's so cute and i can't wait.

thursday thoughts

i'm working 7:30am - 7:30pm today. but it's ok, because i really like my job.

if everything goes as planned, escrow will close on the jasper house next week.

we've started looking at houses in gilbert and it's fun {that's where we want to move and it's closer to my new job}.

we've moved 5 times in our 6 years of marriage.

i'm still obsessed with yellow and blue {if you were wondering}.

E sold his harley.

we're trying something new with the infertility stuff. E gets to give himself shots 3 times a week... it's very exciting.

this weekend i am going to sew and pray for cooler weather.

some lyrics to one of my favorite songs: on my bones by kendall payne
What this love has brought me
What this love has taught me
Patience in battle, who's in the saddle
Joy and despair, that I really do care
Uncertain desire the risk in going higher
Oh this love has been hard on my bones

What this God has brought me
What this God has taught me
Passion and grace, how to stand in one's space
Laughing at lilies, what truly fulfills me
Death on a cross, it was I that was lost
Oh this God has been life to these bones
Oh this God has been life to my bones

thursday thoughts

i've always really liked regina spektor, but right now i'm obsessed.

we're going backpacking this weekend, it's gonna be good!

i haven't done much sewing lately. right now i'm trying to finish a bag for my sis who just had a cute little baby girl named mazie.

a good scripture, Matthew 11: 28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

this post was meant for me. it is amazingly perfect.

work has been so great. it is so much better, i am so much happier.

it's hot here and i usually don't mind it too much. but now it's getting to the point where 109 degree weather in september really bothers me. i am ready for it to at least drop into the 90's. please.

i'm excited for some good tv this fall. modern family, 30 rock, glee, and running wilde {yeah, keri russel}.

which means i've been thinking of you

We watched Avatar over the weekend but weren't blown away by it {it seems like everyone else has been}. I think part of that has to do with watching it on our small TV, not seeing it in 3D and high expectations, but it was still a good movie.

E read like a mad man this weekend. I think all my stacks of books are getting to him. My next book.

I cleaned the house real good on Saturday. There's nothing like a good cleaning before you leave on vacation {3 days}.

I actually cooked dinner on Sunday, E was thrilled. I actually shaved my legs on Saturday, E was thrilled.

E took the real estate licensing exam on Saturday and didn't pass... JK he passed. He called me after the test was over and told me that he only passed the national part and not the state part. He had me going for a couple minutes and I was so bummed. But then he told me that he passed it all, yeah! I made the most amazing peach shakes in celebration.

I finally got some sewing projects finished over the weekend. It felt good to sit at my machine.

I bought a huge bag of cinnamon bears to accompany us on our travels.

and here's a picture.

backpacking through a hailstorm {can you see me} in glacier national park - august 2007